*I’ve used the term “pest” because there’s no concise way to say, “animals I’d rather not have in my garden” (considering the right humans have to call anything a pest).
Background
Speciesism
Speciesism wrongfully places Homo sapiens in a position of dominion over all other species, relating to them in oftentimes exploitative ways. Sentient animals have a right to their own lives because they interact with their environments in conscious ways…or so my preachy manner of thinking went until I started an organic garden.
Veganism was an easy choice after watching Earthlings, which exposes the horrors of industrial farming (there have been many documentaries since). However, little is ever said of those creatures whose sentience is not as easy to imagine.
It is easier to kill insects that “bug” or inconvenience us than attempt to repel them. Our culture of attributing hierarchical value to other animals’ lives makes it so it seems ridiculous to consider a fly’s life…but what of a butterfly? This is true even when the other animals are humans – some humans we think deserve death based on their actions. If, like a fly, someone pranced around on shit then tried to put their foot in my mouth, I might, in a bout of rage, give them an unlucky blow.
Despite my moral obligation, I’m not trying to convince you to become vegan today. In any case, you will believe what you want. Lifestyle changes come from personal conviction or following the crowd. In the former case, you’ll have to want a number of things as a prerequisite to change including to make an effort to educate yourself and inform your decisions. Luckily, you’re likely to be someone who’s going to relish that I’ve been a bad vegan.
Kill Everything
When sap sucking insects appeared, I didn’t think twice. I followed the advice you’ll find regarding garden “pests” (kill everything) but sought organic alternatives to poisons that are probably giving us cancer over time as they accumulate in our systems. Pests are unwanted in the garden, or anywhere you name something a pest. “Kill them all!” is the human gardener’s usual mantra, which is why it is so easy to imagine the extraterrestrial gardeners doing the same.
I’ve justified killing mosquitoes by telling myself that their potentially life-threatening attack entitles me to a defense.
What if the attack isn’t on you, but your property?
Humans shoot each other dead over property all the time. Is this an example of the best way to resolve things, though?
Aphids, whitefly and mealy bug
Aphids, whitefly and mealy bug are plant vampires, sucking their sap until they yellow and then brown. They started living off my Scotch bonnet peppers. An insecticidal soap solution results in the dehydration of their soft bodies, and so, their deaths.
I learned that biological controls were at work as well. I noticed on the hot peppers’ leaves the ladybird’s larval stages, eating the aphids.
Then the basil grew up and the aphids disappeared. They’re repelled by the smell!
Big Basil Leaf
Basil Plant
Weak plants are also more prone to infestations, which are an indication that you should look at plant nutrient deficiencies, that is, what your soil is missing.
Dealing with Passion Fruit Caterpillars
Not so much the case with passion fruit vines. The fritillary butterfly specifically seeks them out to lay their eggs on their leaves.
At first I couldn’t find a solution because the caterpillars’ relocation would have meant starvation as they only eat passion fruit leaves. It’d be better to crush them quickly, you know, “humane slaughter”. I found a better way by sounding it out with my brother who’s also vegan. I’ve sacrificed a vine separate from the others, transferring the caterpillars I find on them to it. I am a kind and merciful god (hell-bent on throwing ecosystems out of balance).
African snails
At night, I pick slugs and snails from the garden and relocate them (to the neighbour’s garden. Just kidding senior citizen’s home people [I’m not kidding]). Picking them off has been the most effective way to avoid them DEVOURING EVERYTHING in my garden. The longer I’m vegan, the more I see that humans kill for convenience, but what about invasive species?
The African snail is here in Barbados and I know I’m getting away with relocation because it’s the dry season. When the rains start (they’ve started just this week) they’ll be everywhere. (As I write this, I know I should probably continue doing what I’m doing, but don’t want to because I’ll have to sacrifice time I’d be spending binge watching tv series and TED talks on youtube).
Getting rid/running out of the lawn grass cuttings used as a mulch, reduced the African snails’ numbers. They sheltered under it from the blistering sun.
Slugs
Slug picking is pretty gross. They produce extra slime when they sense a threat. As with the African snails, it’s also inconvenient to pause that Black Mirror or Fleabag episode to go out to the garden with your phone torch. However, do this for a week or two every night (every 2 nights) and there’s a dramatic decrease in their numbers…until they increase again. That’s because slugs hang out close to whatever they’re gourmandising since they don’t have mobile homes to protect them from the sun.
In mint condition
🎶🎤 “And thyme can do so much!”
🎤🎶 “…sweet marjoraaaaaamm!”
Planting herbs around the garden periphery may discourage molluscs. However, in my experience, they ate the sweet marjoram and basil because the drought was severe and they’ll eat whatever’s available.
Broken eggshells are recommended – snails and slugs prefer not to crawl over the jagged edges – but you’ll have to use alot of egg shells. I don’t eat eggs so a sufficient quantity of shells takes a while to come by. Also, rain negatively affects the shells’ efficacy as a deterrent.
It helps my anxiety not to be as emotionally invested in having the plants maintain perfect leaves. “If something is eating them it means they’ve not been sprayed in poison.” That’s what I tell customers who ask.
Thieves
One morning I stood, fists akimbo, and admired my bed of chives. In the afternoon, I walked past the beds and there was nothing in them. As if by magic. Not a trace. Monkeys. The green monkey specifically, known to be vindictive (look under behaviour in that link for the vervet monkey. It’s the same for the green monkey).
Chives Eater
My neighbour told me that after he enclosed his kitchen garden, the monkeys pulled off all the green mangoes from the tree outside it and threw them on the ground.
I try not to provoke them, but they’re an aggravation. It’s something about how sneaky those fuckers can be. They’re watching, waiting for your beets and okras to be just big enough. They harvest them the day before you do. But you think they’ll touch the Scotch bonnet hot peppers?
I built a shade house and waited. Two days later, the entire monkey family used the netting as a trampoline, according to my neighbour. The black plastic bags I had strung up? The monkeys laughed at them. I’d also heard you could fasten newspapers, showing pictures of people’s faces, around the area you want to protect and that laying them down on the ground worked because the monkeys don’t like to walk across them.
On the third day, all the chives I’d transplanted to the beds were gone, and a ball of monkey shit left on top of the shade house netting as monkey for “fuck this shade house and fuck you!”.
I put “monkey proofing the shade house” on my to-do list for the next day. I blocked the hole near the bottom of the fence in one corner where the adults must have sent in a youngster who could fit. They came through another where the neighbour’s guard wall had collapsed, exposing a space below our fence. Filled that with bricks from the wall. After several times having run outside because I thought I’d heard monkeys raiding my garden, it seems they’ve given up. We’ve been sharing the mangoes. They’re more than enough and they taste like a musk melon’s behind.
Everything’s just in the fight for survival. These plants and fruits are food for the animals we call pests. They’re not out to destroy them so they can steal my oil reserves.
I often consider my hand of God, as I am my own god with god-like powers to the easily crushed. Am I a compassionate god? Or one who wields his power carelessly?
Pigs being Five Year Old Humans
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