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Peep under my skirt

Writer: boycemartinboycemartin

The last time I used a crocus bag to cover fruits, when I looked in after a few weeks, a FAMILY OF RATS peeped up at me, grateful for the rat condominium they must have thought I’d considerately made for them. This time, I used an old spring frock (that did not belong to me) which had the advantage of not only being long and different enough to discourage the monkeys’ approach, but of not having a bottom to hold a rat’s nest, since you know I try to find alternatives to “pest” management.

I’d been away from home and, upon my return, was told the avocados had all been picked. I wuk up on the ladder when I realised that one dress had tricked even a human, hiding amongst its flounces, the last remaining fruit, which I felt up, then took.

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