Orientation – 4th August, 2010

Nothing they’d said would have prepared me for Tokyo. Walking into an electrical appliances store there, I jumped back out. The flashing lights; the songs (every machine on sale seemed to sing something different); the attendants, each as animated as if on the trading floor on Wall Street.

IRASSHAIMASE!

Add hearing “IRASSHAIMASE!” at every turn—if I had epilepsy I would have been taken to the floor by seizures! This was my first experience outside the new employees’ hotel in Tokyo.

Before this, young people from different countries (mostly North America) corralled into the hotel’s large hall, were separated according to the prefectures in which they’d be teaching. On our schedule were too many welcoming ceremonies and panel discussions and lectures—a lot of repetitive information—so truancy became rampant. The group leaders thought that having us sign an attendance sheet before and after each event would make a difference.

Everything seemed a Warning

I pretended to be the model new employee, hoping to be told something that might make attendance worth it. Everything seemed a warning because there was so much we could do wrong, as cultural norms were contrary to those to which we’d become habituated. Cannabis use or possession could land you in jail for five years and drink driving for three years. With up to 500, 000 US dollar fines, the percentage alcohol penalised could be of that detected if you used mouthwash (they couldn’t say unbelievable things like this enough). It was also best to have antiperspirants and toothpaste sent to you because the chemicals that blocked your underarm pores and fluorided your teeth were outlawed. In a smaller group of men, we were told that condoms might be too small. [Up from no Xs at all, I was to become XX-Large and sometimes embarrassed to ask for condoms at the cashier, feeling undeserving of all the blushing]. We were told about the culture shock stages; that we were in the honeymoon phase. In the next, we would have a very negative outlook, but should resist focusing on and gossiping about the nonsensical differences that would present themselves.

Stay away from Natto

Natto from the Devil

I am introduced to a triangular rice block wrapped in seaweed and filled with tuna salad. I like it, so that’s what I eat until I have the courage to try things with no pictures on the packaging, or enough money to waste on buying food I may not like, such as natto, which is from the Devil.

The resident Trinidadian in Tokyo told me he loved it. This cannot be possible, for it has the distinct odor of something you should not eat and pulls like okra-saliva. Not wanting to spit it at his feet because he’d bought it, I made the mistake of putting the entire thing in my mouth, thinking I could swallow it and be done. My body did not agree with this decision and it’s muscles contracted the moment he looked away. By the time he’d looked back I’d managed to push past my reflex, and it was then up to my stomach whether or not it would shame me, which, mercifully, it didn’t.

New Friends

Before the conference, I’d spent most of my time with ten Trinidadians and an Antiguan I met at the Japanese embassy in Trinidad prior to leaving for Houston. Then it was 13 hours from Houston to Tokyo. I watched four movies to make the time go by quickly, so my eyes started bleeding. Yesterday, we travelled to our respective Prefectures—a six hour bus drive for me, a strange Finnish girl, an overly happy Irish woman and the South African truant I was sure would have been thrown out of the programme for skipping the second day of events because she’d drunkened herself the night before.

I’m meeting with the Board of Education at 9 a.m. and each of us is required to give a self-introduction in Japanese. This only makes sense to me if we’re puppies, English is puppy shit and we’re being taught not to do it in their house. I’ve tried out Japanese and it’s great fun though – difficult not to feel you’re having a laugh at the language when it requires you imitate accents you’ve heard in cartoons.

I’m in Fukui at the Fukui Palace hotel (0776-23-3800) room 410 (in case I’m taken). We’re here for training, but at the end of the week (Friday?) I’m going to my apartment in Echizen.

Can’t believe I’m in Japan! The area is mountains covered in evergreens, rice fields where they’d be cane fields in Barbados and, on the walls, no graffiti. Highly suspicious. The last photo is at the train station in Echizen. I am such a tourist!

The days still merge. I spend my daylight hours in a daze—we’re 13 hours ahead of you guys in Barbados.

#Echizenshi #Japaninitialimpressions #Takefu