My Japanese was coming along slowly. The more I studied the more I felt this would kill me. I thought I was on the verge of a breakthrough or a nervous breakdown – it could have gone either way. Sometimes I’d learn a new word and almost immediately hear someone use it on television or in the staffroom, which probably gave me hope. I’d re-evaluated my study plans and came up with a routine that no longer included auto-flagellation. To no avail.
Putting aside finding a good teacher for the complex writing system with its three scripts (Hiragana, Katakana and Kanji), and its levels of politeness and grammar – in particular being taught a polite version friends don’t use with each other – as someone who has learned languages, the following is what I’ve found most challenging:
Practice
It is difficult to practice Japanese in Japan unless you already speak it. The culture depends on a framework of well-rehearsed social rules, minimising opportunities for conflict. Along comes a foreigner, unschooled in the nuances of Japanese social interactions. We trigger panic attacks: lots of bowing, hand waving, giggling, iie’s and running away.
Those who don’t speak Japanese are at a disadvantage since most Japanese, especially in smaller towns like mine, don’t speak other languages and are too embarrassed to try to interact with a foreigner. Practice is such an important element when learning a language – it’s how we all learn our native tongues. The preconceived notion that the foreigner won’t be understood is so engrained that Japanese waiters will ignore a fluent non-Asian Japanese speaker to address the one at the table who may only be of Asian heritage, but doesn’t speak the language. Many times in response to my, “Ohayo Gozaimasu!” the response will be, “Sorry. No English!”
Many Japanese who do speak English are proud of this. They’re interested in showing off and perfecting their skills. The best solution is to find a partner, a gaijin hunter (foreigner hunter), more attracted to those of non-Asian descent, but more importantly, one who speaks little to none of your native language.
Motivation
Perhaps the right teacher or material would motivate
Ultimately, it comes down to motivation. Having decided that Japan wasn’t somewhere I wanted to reside, it made no sense investing in learning the language. Japan is problematic on a few fronts. While it is the cleanest, safest place I’ve ever lived, the indoctrination required to achieve this result has undesirable side-effects that outweigh these positives.
Seemingly Superficial
I’ve found it difficult to have a conversation that doesn’t feel superficial, and, because interactions are so obviously scripted, they can seem inauthentic. Once, my teachers tried tamarind balls sent to me from Barbados. There was the standard pause you see on Japanese cooking shows after the taste test. Then, a cascade of oishi’s (delicious) but with the strings pulling in their necks because TAMARIND BALLS ARE SOUR!
Weirdo Westerners in Japan
Putting Japan’s love of blondes with blue eyes aside, it also tends to attract Westerners with these characteristics:
Obsessed with manga, which can have the effect of infantilising them although, ironically, many manga have adult themes. I like these two that were recommended by friends who know me: Ebichu
and especially Aggretsuko:
which is a pretty accurate representation of my office experience in Japan.
Expert in defending the notion of how easily offended the Japanese are by correcting other foreigners. (They are often more Japanese than the Japanese);
Poor social skills. This is usually directly proportional to Japanese fluency. My theory is that the latter requires prioritisation of Japanese learning over developing social skills. In five years, I met five well-rounded individuals, fluent in Japanese and who had adapted formidably to the culture. All others were clueless weirdo-nerds my colleagues and I would run from because they were VERBOSE DULLARDS!
Black Queer Invisibility
Non-heteronormative black men don’t exist in the Japanese psyche. My experience oscillated between invisibility and fetishisation, with the former being the norm.
On Grindr, all messages came from foreigners. How ugly I must be to these people whose flour-faced geishas exemplify beauty and nuribotoke (lacquered Buddha) and Umibōzu (sea priests), ugliness, not unlike Enid Blyton’s golliwogs. Then, in the Philippines, I had to switch off Grindr notifications. [I would return to the Philippines three times.]
Workplace Rapport
My supervisor is amazing. His English is great, he’s funny (albeit oftentimes scandalously inappropriate) and there’s a certain level of quid pro quo – I grade his students’ papers and he pretends he doesn’t notice I’m taking (at least) two hour lunches. Sitting in the staffroom, however, especially during summer vacation when I don’t give classes but am required to be at school, I go all day without speaking to anyone if the Japanese English teachers aren’t around. This is not a situation conducive to sustaining my mental health.
Sustaining my mental health
This far. No Further.
Japanese Proficiency Test
I’d been preparing for a Japanese proficiency test which was yesterday, July 2nd. Having a goal has helped me make the effort, but I’ve long ago exhausted options for learning, by association, the kanji. Each kanji can be read in different ways and you learn vocabulary containing the kanji to differentiate between the readings…but many have the same reading.
I’ve been having basic conversations, thanks to Pimsleur Japanese. I listen to it almost every day, but especially on Tuesdays when I walk to a bus stop that’s about 20 minutes away and then take a 40 minute bus ride to my visiting school.
The test was easier than what we’d been practicing, but I wasn’t prepared – H. and I decided late that we’d do it. They’re different levels though, so, even if we don’t pass this one, we can study for the next, I say, knowing full-well that I am not wasting anymore time learning a language I won’t use.
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