A Stiff One / First Grey Hairs / Winter (AGAIN) in Japan / Dust Diet – February 24th, 2014

MURDUH IN DE MARKET! MURDUH! (murduh!) De Massiah cometh! Mistress!

How you?! Sooooo good to hear you! Life does get in de way of keeping in contact, but we will always be we, once duh got uh St. Lucy in Buhbadus! I could do wid one uh dem trips all now! An’ by “trips” I mean a “stiff one”! Mercy! ( I quivered to think!) An’ you know I like my drinks straight! Unfortunately here in Korea…uh mean, Japan…de drinks not only weak but de Long Island ice tea I was accustom’ to…short. Things suh bad I only mixing my own now. Lol!

Well, de USA probably reading dis email, so lemme keep it legal. I still cutting canes pun de people rice plantation. My firs’ gray hairs (from teaching dumpsie children) appeared in my beard, not the nether regions. 

It is winter, so my feelings about Japan are at their sourest. Snow is somet’ing reminiscent of imperialism – dis white harnessing its might to obliterate all other colours, chilling me to de bones…seemingly unsurvivable. But survive it I do.

Now I’ve done my traveling, I’m focused on paying my student loan (yes my priorities were travel THEN pay the loan). I am back on my diet of roots and apartment dust.

Thinking about moving to China from here for a year or two because, if I manage to pay dese crooks, I gine be back to square one, an’ I hear you fire 3000 people from duh government jobs, so my chances might be best wid Fung Lin an’ frien’s.

I better get off my phone an’ keep up appearances…being in class and all (I geh dem uh test so I could read an’ respon’ tuh you email) but, before I threaten to brek dem neck ef dem tell anybody I did using my cell phone instead uh teaching:

You married yet? I might be experiencing ‘MEN! Oh? Pause!’ You? You birthed any children you had to throw way or hide? De house finish? Who livin’ in it? You had to stab you sistuh yet? She had to stab you yet? Ralph still bad talking women/come to terms with where he is on de spectrum yet? You an’ M. fall out or you got he in training for my return?

What else?… Let me see…. Oh! You chop down de Almond tree or you still pounding almonds? Remember de bes’ way is to put dem pun de side! An’ hit it along de seam! De nut does pop right out!

Lastly, but most importantly, send my love to your mother… (but you could keep some for yourself).

Mitsubishi Samsung

BOW!

#livinginJapan