1. Extremely Negatively Reactive
Toxic parents are emotionally immature. Minor issues are blown out of proportion and a determination to misunderstand and take offense expresses itself through hostility and verbal abuse.
2. Extremely Controlling
Attempting to control everything and everyone is a define sign of a toxic parent. Toxic parents over-parent interpreting signs of independence as an affront to the authority afforded them by religion and societal norms. Ways in which they attempt to undermine this disobedience to their godlike status can be through fear, guilt and money. Toxic parents make unreasonable demands into their child’s adulthood with little regard for their sovereignty.
3. Lacking in Empathy
Toxic parents are self-centred. Their goal is to meet their needs through actions they do not see as disruptive or hurtful. They may demand that their children take care of them because of their own problems, while themselves withholding nurturing behaviors.
4. Highly Critical
Toxic parents cannot (or will not) acknowledge their children’s achievements. No matter their accomplishments, they will never be good enough, or as good as someone else’s, not as a child nor an adult. They are constantly criticising people around them while glorifying themselves.
5. They’re Never Wrong
The resulting tumultuous nature of the relationship caused by the toxic parent’s desire to behave as they please while being treated in a way that aligns with who they see themselves to be, is never their fault. Refusing to take responsibility for their role in arising conflict, tactics may include avoidance or redirecting blame.
6. You become Anxious Around Them
You suffer intense negative emotional or physical reactions before, during and after spending time with your parent(s). These may result from triggered memories of distressing past events, feeling trapped and unable to avoid your parents, hopelessness, negative thoughts about yourself (not liking who you become when you’re in their company), being on guard for danger, amoung other symptoms that may be indicators of post-traumatic stress disorder.
I’m not an expert. I’m just figuring out how to live with my parents again and just find some relief in relating to what’s already been written. Mostly paraphrasing from:
And
Dr Susan Forward’s Toxic parents: Overcoming their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming your life
Comments